[0.0] A lot of people will talk about fears from the brain
[2.4] and it's trying to keep you safe.
[4.5] My fear was like, I don't wanna keep you safe
[7.2] because what I'm actually trying to tell you is safety
[10.1] is over here.
[12.5] See, not where you are, you're crying every day,
[15.5] you're miserable, you love your pain,
[17.1] you love your boss, but you're miserable.
[19.5] And so I am trying to keep you safe over here
[23.2] but you've got to leap over here.
[25.2] So I'm just gonna get real loud and annoying
[29.4] until you do.
[30.4] Hi there.
[31.4] This is her intentional reset, a podcast for women in midlife curious about whether the
[36.0] career they chose 20 years ago still fits.
[39.7] Here from women who have made pivots big and small discuss the practical realities, the
[44.7] trade-offs and whether the change was worth it.
[47.6] I'm your host Molly Woodruff-Earth and if you're new here, welcome.
[52.3] I'm glad you found us.
[53.9] find us in between episodes on Instagram and Facebook at her intentional reset.co.
[60.0] That's .co for guests behind the scenes and what's coming next.
[65.4] Now let's get into today's conversation.
[68.8] Meet Carrie for Breeze, founder, career frame, and author of All In, located in Dallas, Texas.
[76.2] After more than 20 years, climbing the ladder at companies like Google,
[80.1] Travelocity, Saber, and multiple startups,
[83.3] Carrie found herself raising two young kids
[86.2] in staring down a pivotal question.
[88.6] If I could do absolutely anything, what would it be?
[93.0] The answer led her to launch career frame,
[95.4] a coaching and consulting firm that now partners
[98.0] with companies like Axios, Apfolio,
[101.1] Mouse or Electronics, Envoyant Goa,
[103.0] Wireless to help executives and teams unlock
[106.5] their full potential.
[108.1] Whether she's sharing lessons from her book,
[110.7] all in a working mom's unapologetic quest for a juicy life,
[115.7] which helps women see they don't need to choose
[118.7] between ambition and motherhood,
[120.9] or unpacking the frame it method
[123.3] and return on energy frameworks,
[126.5] Kerry brings humor, real world stories
[129.7] and a clarity that leaves audiences thinking differently
[133.4] about leadership, ambition,
[135.6] And what it truly means to thrive.
[138.3] I'm excited for you to meet Gary.
[140.7] This is her intentional reset.
[144.4] Hi, Gary.
[145.6] Hey, Molly.
[146.9] That's so excited to have you on.
[149.3] Let's jump right in and tell us
[152.3] how you started career frame.
[154.5] What were you doing before?
[156.0] And how did you decide that career frame
[158.7] was the next right step for you?
[161.0] Yeah, thanks for that question.
[162.7] So after 20, 40 years in corporate,
[166.6] travel off-seat Google,
[167.9] all some of the other places that we've already discussed
[170.8] in my intro, I was tired.
[172.7] I had been this old breadwinner for a bit
[174.3] while my husband launched his business.
[176.0] And when he got series A, I was like,
[178.1] oh my gosh, thank goodness,
[179.2] you take the financial baton for a second,
[181.1] and step out and be with the kids.
[183.3] And that only lasted six months.
[185.8] I love my babies, they're amazing.
[187.4] They were one and three at the time.
[189.4] But it was in that pause that I realized,
[191.7] I really love having a career.
[195.4] Now I have this unique opportunity
[197.0] to ask myself if I could do anything,
[198.9] I wanted what would it be.
[200.5] And I had the amazing opportunity
[203.3] of being a leadership when I was at Google
[205.6] and when I was at Sabre, and I missed that.
[208.5] I missed impacting in a positive way other people.
[212.9] And so I said, you know,
[214.4] there's a lot of people that are in leadership
[215.9] that might not know what they're doing.
[217.6] They may not be great at it.
[218.8] They were great at the technical skill,
[221.2] leading people is a completely different skill. So I think I can help. And so I decided to start going on that adventure, finding
[229.1] Gallup's Clifton strings as a framework. I wanted to have some kind of foundational framework that I could use in coaching sessions and
[236.0] to start putting myself out there and it grew and grew and here we are 10 years later still
[242.9] coaching executives and working with teams and their dynamics and helping them be strengths-based and emotionally intelligent and adaptive leaders and having
[250.7] a lot of fun doing it.
[252.4] Yes, I was really excited to have you on when I saw
[255.2] that you were a certified in Clifton Strengths.
[258.2] I'm excited to hear your thoughts
[260.4] on how we can incorporate that not only in work,
[263.3] but also for working moms in our home life as well.
[267.0] So you launched Career Frame in 2016, then what happened?
[272.4] Yeah, so when I look back, I was pedaling at best.
[277.0] I discovered along the way that there was a little bit of ego involved thinking,
[282.6] I'm about to put this great network.
[284.0] I'll just talk to my network and they're all on a higher be.
[287.4] That's not really what happened.
[289.5] I was working with this one company for quite a bit as kind of like their internal coach
[293.0] and they were my only client.
[294.6] But when that kind of abruptly came to an end, cash flow, challenges, leadership changes,
[300.0] consultants the first one to go thing.
[302.4] I was at the time pouring most of my heart and soul into my son,
[306.3] who is a neurodivergent kid,
[308.1] and we wanted to get him in the right school,
[309.8] which involved selling a house,
[311.4] moving into a new neighborhood, all the things.
[313.6] And I did not have energy to give to both.
[316.4] And so I ended up kind of reluctantly going back
[320.5] to corporate for two years.
[322.0] And it's why they say hindsight is 2020.
[326.0] When I got through that journey,
[328.3] I'm going back to corporate for two years.
[329.8] realized it was absolutely a must of a stepping stone that I had to step on to get to where I am today.
[337.4] I needed to go back into that environment, go all in, and then very quickly realize this is not what
[343.7] I would be putting my all in to. So did a ton of work on myself 2019 was my transformational year,
[353.8] and got the strength and courage and resilience to jump back into career frame full time.
[360.3] And that's when things really took off. So back to 2019, you said that you were doing the work.
[367.3] Can we dig a little bit deeper into that? Because anyone else listening right now,
[371.7] we may be sitting where you were back in 2018, where we're sitting in a situation where we know that
[378.5] that this is maybe not where we want to be in,
[382.1] but we don't know what to do next.
[385.0] So what was some of the work that you were doing in 2019?
[389.0] Before I asked that, I would say that,
[390.8] yes, self-included, when you feel,
[393.6] you know something's not right.
[395.1] You know you're not aligned with where you are.
[397.8] You feel trapped, you feel stuck.
[401.1] The responsibility of life is heavy,
[405.0] and you don't know what to do.
[406.7] And so in those moments in how I chose the path that I went on,
[412.0] was I had to just really listen to me.
[415.3] Again, that question, if I could do anything,
[417.7] what would it be?
[419.0] And also, I do think that life,
[421.5] universe, source, God, whatever you believe in,
[424.6] put stuff in front of you, you just have to see it.
[427.7] And for example, I hired a coach
[429.8] who I happened to sit next to
[431.7] at an exclusive travel leadership retreat
[435.8] in Park City, Utah.
[437.6] And when I sat next to her, we started talking.
[440.3] There was like a little pee,
[442.0] and my heart and in my mind,
[443.6] it was like, talk more checker
[446.0] and see what she can do for you.
[447.6] Her name's Molly Carroll.
[448.6] She's amazing.
[449.4] She's got an incredible coaching program
[451.3] called Cracking Open.
[452.6] And so I hired her.
[453.8] Did not have the money to do it at all.
[456.4] But then it's one of those things
[457.3] that when I hired her six weeks later,
[459.5] she handed me a lead,
[461.4] and I got the deal and it paid for my entire year,
[465.0] working with mom.
[466.6] Then my husband said, hey, you should connect
[469.2] with this guy George, he's a friend of mine.
[471.0] He works for Tony Robbins.
[472.1] And I'm like, Tony Robbins, I don't want to do anything
[474.7] with Tony Robbins.
[476.0] And so I had a call with George,
[478.0] and he's like, we've come to Dallas.
[479.3] I live in Dallas.
[480.2] And I was like, okay, he's like,
[482.2] I need you to take it.
[483.2] And I'm like, okay, why would I not do that?
[486.8] So then it was also about being open to things
[490.0] that were coming into my life
[491.5] and basically going, maybe I'm supposed to go
[493.0] and do a Tony Robbins event.
[494.6] So, when did Tony Robbins totally changed my life?
[498.3] During the Kool-Aid, did mastery.
[500.3] When did date with Destiny,
[501.6] life mastery, wealth mastery, did it all.
[503.7] Dramatically changed my life,
[505.1] everything I outlined and worked through
[507.5] a date with Destiny that I thought would take me five years
[509.6] to do to 18 months to do.
[511.5] Red, a ton.
[512.9] I became a member of the 5 AM club.
[515.2] I would wake up, read,
[517.6] and it was all like high performing habits,
[521.0] self-development.
[523.0] I wouldn't say self-help,
[524.2] But if that's what you call it, that's great too.
[525.8] But just how can I develop myself?
[527.9] How can I grow?
[528.7] I went into Gorosh mode.
[531.3] I know that I'm not aligned with where I'm at.
[534.4] I know that I want to be better.
[536.2] I want to be in a better position.
[538.0] And the first time I did this stuff, it didn't work.
[540.9] So I'm going to try something new.
[542.7] And again, be open, be curious.
[545.2] Be a seeker of knowledge.
[547.4] And just spend my brain and did all of those things.
[550.3] And then from a business perspective,
[552.8] get more certifications.
[554.3] You know, Clifton Strinks,
[555.4] what about emotional intelligence?
[556.7] What about situational leadership?
[558.7] I'm a certified ICF coach,
[561.0] like all of these things are just going through
[564.1] and doing the work and showing myself
[567.8] that I know this stuff and I'm good at this stuff
[570.1] and I can help people with this stuff.
[572.1] So I'm in a beautiful place right now, Molly.
[573.9] I just got back from a seven day retreat
[577.2] with Joe D'Spenza learning about meditation
[580.3] and really understanding that meditation is not wubu,
[584.4] it's just like with energy,
[585.5] energy's not wubu, it's strategic.
[587.9] And working through lack and scarcity and fear
[592.6] and how that literally keeps you in the same spot.
[596.4] And so I'm always leaning into myself to grow,
[600.0] to be better, not only for myself,
[601.9] but then also to bring this to my clients
[605.1] and to give them things, I think, about,
[606.6] give them things to noodle over and, you know,
[609.0] put it through their system and it does this resonate with you.
[611.6] And if so, go try something.
[613.0] If not, go find something else that does.
[615.3] I will always invest in myself.
[617.1] I invest in myself personally and professionally.
[619.1] I'm in three executive networking groups for career frame.
[623.2] And so, yeah, it's just about putting yourself out there.
[626.4] If you're by yourself, if you're isolating,
[628.7] not really growing, and the minute we stop growing,
[631.4] we start buying.
[632.7] I will always be a secret growth.
[635.3] Yes.
[635.8] And doesn't it feel so much better when you're doing something
[638.8] about it instead of just spiraling with those feelings
[642.4] of anxiety or just that discomfort
[645.2] actually taking the steps to do something about it.
[648.5] Or does and it's also incredibly rewarding
[652.3] when you get to the other side.
[654.3] You do have to put your mask on first
[656.1] before assisting others or you're half-ass taking care
[658.1] of everybody else.
[659.1] So it's really pouring into you
[661.9] so that you can radiate that to everybody else.
[665.4] And that's just, that's one of my goals to do all the time
[668.4] just what can I radiate to you energetically, enthusiastically, from place of encouragement?
[674.0] While also understanding, thanks can feel really hard and heavy.
[677.2] We said in that for about five seconds.
[680.4] Then it's what are we going to do about it?
[683.3] Don't stay there.
[684.3] That doesn't help you.
[685.3] Yes.
[686.3] And on that, in your book, All In, A Working Mom's Unapologed Quest for a juicy life, you do start
[693.2] with that story about learning to put on your own mask first.
[697.1] and we'll make sure that we link your book in our show notes.
[700.8] So then bring us back to 2020.
[703.5] You did all of the work to then relaunch career frame.
[707.9] What had to be true for you to be able to say,
[712.2] I did the work so now I can move on.
[714.6] Yeah, so I talk about the scene in the book.
[718.2] So we all know what happened in 2020.
[720.4] I relaunched and jumped back into career frame and the COVID hit.
[724.7] And what I needed to go through was I had to realize that fear was only going to get louder
[734.5] because it was trying to get my attention.
[737.2] And the more I ignored that resistance, the longer it was going to take me to get to where
[747.8] I am now.
[749.2] And so once I decided to go wait a second, fear you're really annoying me in passing
[754.6] off. What do you want? I had to literally just pause and go, what do you want? And I realized
[760.7] it was like, I want you to leap towards where you're supposed to be. Stop making excuses,
[767.9] stop settling, stop, just stop and leap. And so when I did, there was a net that caught me,
[778.2] like when someone's doing a trapeze and they fall and then they kind of slightly bounce up a
[782.5] a little bit before they fall. So it was like, I leapt, I fell, and then I bounced up and just kept going, kept soaring.
[790.1] And so fear rarely comes around anymore when it does. I'm like, well, hello, old friend,
[801.4] what do you need? What do you want this time? What are you trying to teach me? And so that was the
[806.8] the big shift in order to get to the next level and to keep going.
[812.7] And then again, just all of this amazingness followed, even in code.
[816.5] I was like, just keep going.
[817.8] One foot in front of the other, keep going.
[819.8] There were 10 someone called me, we've got this crazy
[822.2] nearby president position, blah, blah, blah.
[824.0] And I was like, no, because even when I jumped back,
[828.4] I still was not anywhere near back to my corporate salary.
[833.0] And so then that was just the resilience and the courage
[835.8] to keep going, to keep having conversations, to reach out to people, to ask for introductions,
[840.9] things like that.
[842.2] And then the money started coming and then it just kept coming.
[845.9] People also often ask me since my book is called All In.
[848.9] What is All In Me?
[849.9] And I'm like, what does it mean to you?
[853.0] Allow yourself to determine and define what that is for you and then do it.
[858.9] What I love about your story is that it's universal.
[861.8] fear is different for all of us, whether it be that scarcity and financial fear or ego
[868.2] tide or something else altogether. But you faced that fear and did the work to be like,
[873.8] okay, why am I feeling this way and what do I really want to do?
[878.6] That is my perspective on fear. A lot of people will talk about fears from the brain and
[883.0] it's trying to keep you safe. My fear was like, I don't want to keep you safe because I
[888.4] I want to actually try to tell you is safety is over here.
[893.0] Say not where you are.
[894.6] You're crying every day.
[896.0] You're miserable.
[896.8] You love your team.
[897.7] You love your boss.
[898.4] But you're miserable.
[900.0] And so I am trying to keep you safe over here.
[903.7] But you've got to leap over here.
[905.7] So I'm just going to get real loud and annoying
[909.9] until you do.
[911.7] And so yeah, it was a pretty powerful,
[915.3] pivotal moment in my dream.
[917.4] You said that you had this five year goal that you were able to achieve in 18 months.
[922.3] For listeners, can you explain what your five year goal was?
[926.3] My five year goal was a revenue goal because even more I started doing the Tony work,
[931.1] I have suffered from lack and scarcity mindset. For my trauma as a child, how I was raised and
[938.9] programmed from the people around me that raised me. So back then, it was get the money,
[945.8] to get the money, get the money, get the money.
[948.8] I have involved towards get the meaning.
[951.4] Sure, I would love the money as well, who wouldn't.
[954.2] But it's more about the meaning and the impact
[956.2] whereas back then it was get the money.
[958.0] So if they revenue goal and at the time it sounded
[962.9] absolutely unachievable and ridiculous.
[965.3] I mean high.
[966.2] I was like, why not?
[967.6] Let's just put this big fat number out here.
[969.8] And then to find that I hit it
[973.1] and then beyond surpassed it,
[976.5] slide it into 2024.
[978.5] And that's interesting.
[979.4] I'm not sure really what I did differently
[982.1] other than leave the ego behind.
[984.9] The first time I launched a career frame,
[987.7] it has two chapters and the ego was alive and well
[990.4] and this just gross.
[991.4] I mean, we all have an ego and all rears and stuff.
[993.8] But then I could recognize it.
[995.4] I was like leave the ego behind.
[997.2] It's about meaning an impact and adding authentic connection.
[1001.0] And so when that happened, I started attracting clients.
[1004.1] And then I did great work.
[1005.8] So then they would refer me to somebody else.
[1008.2] And I built the business on referrals,
[1009.7] which is the biggest compliment I can get.
[1012.2] This episode is brought to you by her intentional
[1015.0] resets paid for sponsorship, supporting independent
[1019.4] women-owned businesses.
[1021.5] One day, I woke up and discovered my love of plants.
[1026.2] And they've become a part of my love language.
[1029.3] So I was so excited to hear about Rutsin Bloom, a mobile
[1033.8] plant shop now available in the Twin Cities, founded by
[1038.3] Sierra Curtis.
[1040.0] Rutsin Bloom turns plants into an entire self-care experience
[1044.9] from painting and planting to plant bingo and so much more.
[1049.5] Follow Rutsin Bloom Studio on Instagram.
[1052.9] That's Rutsin Bloom underscore studio on Instagram.
[1057.2] It's also going to be linked in our show notes to see where the mobile
[1060.8] plant shop is popping up near you.
[1063.3] And mention her intentional reset for 20% off any plant purchase because
[1069.0] taking care of yourself is always worth it.
[1073.4] Let's transition to what you've actually built at career frame.
[1079.4] And typically with career frame, you're working with senior leaders,
[1083.2] senior VPC suite executives running teams with a bench.
[1088.1] However, your career frame and frame it methodology is still applicable to working moms
[1094.9] who want to thrive whether they're building high performing teams at work or managing their own
[1101.3] energy without burnout at high level. Can you explain to us your frame it method?
[1107.6] Yeah, so, S
[1120.7] So I use those certifications that I have and I've poured this into the pillars of this five segment method, if you will.
[1129.3] And so frame is the acronym.
[1132.6] So F is foundation and this is stuff that we all must do,
[1137.9] but especially when we're busy and let's just pause on the busy for a second.
[1141.6] That word in itself is the aura around the word busy is not great.
[1147.4] Okay. When we're busy, we don't have time for something.
[1150.5] Right to brush off. Oh, it's so great to see you. Oh, let's go to lunch. Oh,
[1153.6] I love that. I'm so busy, but yes, we'll do it. It never happens.
[1156.8] But I want to encourage people to kind of watch the busy and how busy we are.
[1160.4] Let's just go with this.
[1162.4] We're so busy that we often are not pausing to check in with the human that is doing all
[1169.5] of this stuff.
[1171.2] In the foundation piece of frame it, we pause and we're like, how are you physically, mentally,
[1177.3] emotionally, spiritually, in this case, meaning purpose or whatever, however you want
[1182.7] to define it.
[1184.5] We have for all five of these sections, we have a proprietary assessment, but also you will
[1189.6] take the Clifton string assessment, you'll take the EQ assessment, you'll do adaptable
[1193.0] your shape, things like that.
[1194.8] And so we spend a lot of time again just the foundation, how is the person who is showing
[1199.2] up to do this work?
[1200.4] Because you are rate-meating something good or bad, you're radiating it.
[1204.8] We're just guiding the person to take their own inventory.
[1208.8] Are you working out?
[1209.8] Are you sleeping?
[1210.8] Are you eating well?
[1211.8] How's your mental state?
[1213.0] How are your emotions?
[1214.0] You do have a lot of pressure, blah, blah, blah.
[1216.1] So that's where we start.
[1217.3] we move into our, which is responsibility relationships. So again, let's take inventory
[1222.6] years in assessment so you can see where you are with us, but then also at work, let's
[1227.8] talk about the people that are on your team that report to you, your peers. What is your
[1232.4] relationship with these people and your director ports? Not only your responsibilities,
[1237.2] but what are you delegating to your people? Are you that leader who's trying to do it
[1241.2] all and you're wondering why you're fried and burned out? Then we go into A, which is
[1246.7] Adaptability. So how adaptable are you and also how accountable are you? Are you leading everybody one size fits all?
[1253.3] Or are you actually adapting and you're leading each person how they need to be led to you as the leader can get the most from them?
[1261.4] Bringing it back to working moms think about kids. I
[1265.7] Mean, I think this too. Like how do you take what you do at work and bring it to home?
[1268.9] And I'm like I'm an adaptive parent. I have a neuro divergent child
[1273.0] and I have a talented and gifted child, like on complete opposites of the spectrum here.
[1279.0] And so I lead and parent them very differently. And so you can bring those adaptive leadership skills into
[1285.8] house. And some of us, we feel like our spouses are also a child. So we're here too. Not speaking
[1292.0] from experience. And so then we go into M, which is mindset. And so we walk the person through
[1298.6] several different types of mindset and motivation and how they are motivated, how they are motivating
[1304.3] the people around them. Again, if you're working mom, how are you motivating your children?
[1307.8] Do those of us that have teenagers? The struggle is real and back at work, how are we motivating
[1313.0] our people because everyone is motivated differently? So then it's also what mindset are you carrying
[1318.2] and these four categories? What mindset are your people having in these four categories?
[1324.2] And then we'll work towards starting to execute
[1327.4] and integrate all of this into the team dynamic that you have.
[1333.6] How do we execute all of this stuff
[1335.6] and make it to where it is now common language?
[1338.1] So you as the leader and the team will elevate
[1342.0] to the next level.
[1343.2] That's phase one of the frame it method.
[1345.9] And this is not something that happens in 30 days.
[1348.6] This is an ongoing process of a minimum of six to nine months
[1353.6] Because as we are adults behavior change takes longer.
[1357.4] We get very seven ways.
[1358.9] So it's repetitive.
[1360.1] We do group stuff.
[1361.1] We do individual stuff.
[1362.4] And then we talk about, is there a phase two?
[1365.8] Do we want to keep this going?
[1367.3] And with a phase two, that's where we go into strict coaching.
[1370.6] And then we start to bring the team in a little bit more with the leader.
[1374.2] So they can again start practicing the stuff.
[1377.1] Ongoing real time scenario becomes basically part of their leadership DNA.
[1381.5] It sounds very comprehensive and another thing that can be applied at home and in the workforce is
[1388.7] your R.O.E. framework. Can you explain to everyone what R.O.E. is? Yeah. R.O.E. is return on energy. So we all
[1397.5] understand R.O.I. and when we're investing in something we hope we get something back that's
[1402.3] higher than what we had originally planned. Same thing with return on energy. It's how much energy
[1407.4] you're putting towards something and can you see the return you might get?
[1411.4] It's the same as ROI. You might invest in something and you might not get a return for 10 years.
[1416.6] These is an example of startups when it comes to ROE, startup entrepreneurs. They're starting
[1421.1] a business. Chances are it's going to be several years to build infrastructure, build the company,
[1426.3] build it to profitability to where you will sell it. The energy you're putting into it,
[1430.6] But you can see what the return could be.
[1434.6] Where this is really helpful is when you're that person,
[1438.6] you just keep pouring all of your energy into something,
[1441.2] and you are seeing no return.
[1444.4] This allows you the opportunity to pause and go,
[1447.7] why am I doing this?
[1449.6] Why am I putting so much energy into this?
[1452.9] And I'm getting a crappy return.
[1455.3] I'm like negative.
[1456.8] Now some of us working moms, we will feel that way
[1459.0] because being a mom is a heart-based job on the planet.
[1462.5] And we go through phases where we're putting all of our heart
[1465.2] and soul and all of our energy into our kids.
[1466.8] And then it's like, I hate you!
[1468.0] Because I'm hormonal and all the other things
[1469.7] are like, great, but it's temporary.
[1472.2] That's temporary.
[1473.3] And you gotta look past that temporary phase
[1475.5] and go, they return on energy.
[1476.9] The R.O.E. on putting my love and attention in this child
[1480.6] is setting them up for a thriving future later.
[1485.2] At work, when we're putting our energy into a project
[1488.8] initiative or let's say a person where we see someone like,
[1492.6] someone developed this person and I can see them being
[1494.6] bench strength. If you can see it because they've got
[1498.2] willingness, you can teach them the ability. Then there could
[1502.3] be a positive R.O.E. there. If you think they have potential,
[1506.3] but if they don't think they have potential or they don't care,
[1509.5] your R.O.E. might be negative. You might be putting all
[1512.8] mentioned in someone that doesn't want to grow into that role to
[1515.9] therefore you eliminate not the person,
[1519.5] you're limiting the effort.
[1520.7] So just an interesting way to look at
[1522.8] where are you putting your energy
[1524.2] and what's the return that you're gonna get
[1525.8] on applying all of the effort, the time,
[1528.7] the money, all of the things that are taking
[1531.2] your energy away from you.
[1532.7] I love that philosophy in that framework
[1535.4] and it's as simple as just checking in with yourself.
[1538.9] Like how do I feel after this event
[1540.9] or after saying yes to this, am I excited?
[1543.8] Or am I doing this?
[1545.4] And I think it comes back to your frame at methodology
[1548.6] when you were talking about the foundation
[1550.2] with we're also busy.
[1552.2] If we are also busy and we don't want to be so busy,
[1557.0] then what can you eliminate from your busyness
[1561.6] and using that ROE as that assessment of what to eliminate,
[1566.0] those activities that you're showing up,
[1568.4] you feel obligated that you have to be at,
[1571.5] but you're not getting anything out of it
[1573.6] and it's just draining your energy.
[1575.4] cut those out of your day if you can, yes.
[1578.1] Yeah, and I think that something that I just want to share
[1580.7] is those of you listening that are telling yourself
[1584.6] that you thrive and busy,
[1587.2] I don't really know how honest you're being with yourself.
[1589.6] And if we are thriving and busy,
[1591.9] or oh God, I'm so uncomfortable to slow down,
[1594.7] and I don't want to slow down,
[1595.8] I wouldn't even know what to do with myself.
[1598.0] To me, that's a red flag.
[1599.9] That's a red flag of, what do you think the reasons are
[1604.4] that you're not allowing yourself to pause.
[1606.8] What are you afraid to feel?
[1608.8] What are you afraid to think?
[1610.4] What are you afraid is gonna happen?
[1612.2] Because there's so much data and information
[1616.6] in that answer.
[1619.7] And again, it all flows into
[1622.1] what you're spending your energy on.
[1623.4] And then I get about all the time about burnout.
[1625.5] And I'm like, burnout is because you are not allowing
[1628.5] yourself to pause.
[1630.0] Stress is not the problem,
[1631.4] but a lack of stress recovery is the problem.
[1634.7] And when you are working out with that weight
[1637.7] and you're just lifting, lifting, lifting,
[1639.7] if you don't put that weight down,
[1641.2] you will physically hurt yourself.
[1643.2] You will blow out your muscle,
[1644.3] you will hurt yourself, and now you can't do anything.
[1647.0] And it's the same thing with our minds,
[1648.7] with our hearts, with everything.
[1650.3] You have to pause.
[1652.0] That's how you avoid burnout.
[1653.4] And the people that are like,
[1654.2] oh, I love busy.
[1655.2] I love just nonstop.
[1657.0] I'm like, no, you don't.
[1658.5] Now you don't.
[1659.7] You're telling yourself that story.
[1662.2] I don't know that I believe you,
[1664.0] but you're the one that has to go figure that out.
[1666.0] You're the one that's gotta answer that question.
[1667.9] No, right.
[1669.0] Right. When you said that, I was like,
[1670.9] I got chills.
[1672.2] That's pretty powerful right there.
[1674.2] That's applicable work and home.
[1677.0] We have to take care of ourselves
[1679.7] in order to take care of everybody else.
[1682.6] And it's also watch when you go into victim mode.
[1685.2] I'm taking care of everybody else.
[1686.8] No, it takes care of me.
[1688.2] I'm like, my dear, you're the only person
[1691.4] who can take care of you.
[1693.2] So if you're not taking care of you, please lovingly,
[1697.1] I'll hug you along the way.
[1698.5] Go look at the mirror.
[1700.4] Your podcast, Molly, her intentional reset.
[1703.1] Yeah.
[1704.0] It's not, Carrie's intentional reset for you.
[1706.5] Molly's intentional reset for you.
[1708.4] That's her intentional reset.
[1710.7] So yeah, we're in weird, all in control
[1713.8] of this body, this mind, this heart,
[1715.9] this soul, this everything.
[1716.9] And watch when victim mentality pops up
[1718.8] because that's a mirror opportunity right there.
[1721.0] We're all guilty.
[1721.9] there's zero shaming and any of this stuff I'm saying and I'm the kind of person that I don't
[1726.7] talk about something. I haven't done myself. Like it's been there, done that. Didn't really work
[1732.4] out for me. Try this. It felt better. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the purpose of this podcast is to have
[1737.7] that safe platform to realize that we are all in it together. And now we're able to just finally
[1743.9] vocalize it. So we feel like we're not alone. This is the perfect segue to ask you about your
[1749.0] a vibe check. So if we are in that, what was me or I'm doing all of this for everyone else,
[1755.4] walk us through the vibe check. What is that?
[1757.7] Yeah, so the vibe check is really tied back to ROE. Right? So it's got this thing or this
[1764.1] initiative or this challenge or whatever it is. And you want to verify the feelings that
[1769.0] you're having around it. A lot of us are analytical. We stand our head. So it's travel
[1773.8] that 12 inches down, get in the heart. I realize that we're not going to really get very
[1778.7] far if we don't have brain heart coherence. And I realized that it wasn't that my heart was
[1786.1] not open. It was that my brain was so hyper-vigilant it wouldn't communicate with my heart.
[1791.8] So I want to share that with your audience because when we're verifying the feeling,
[1798.0] part of that is also tapping in if you are someone who is hyper-vigilant and you're
[1802.2] analytical, it's having a quick little chat with your brain and going, hey, what is for a second?
[1807.0] I introduced you to my heart and you guys had a cup of coffee and got to do a check there.
[1811.0] So I could actually know what I'm feeling.
[1814.4] You verify the feeling that you're having towards this thing, this initiative, this challenge,
[1817.8] this whatever.
[1818.8] Then what is the impact of that feeling?
[1823.1] How is that going to impact your life personally, professionally, then you go into balancing the cost,
[1829.8] which is with the time investment, what's the energy investment, is there a financial investment,
[1838.8] so you're really just looking at this and what am I willing to do and not willing to do?
[1843.8] And then from there you determine if you want to execute on this thing or if you need to eliminate it.
[1849.9] A lot of times we're doing things because we think it sounds good. Someone has told us we need
[1855.2] to do it and this is where it's really, what do I want to do with this? Again, let me verify
[1861.6] how I'm feeling about this. What's the impact of that feeling? Like how's that feeling landing?
[1866.1] Can I balance the time, the energy? Is there a financial bit? And then do I actually want to do
[1871.0] this because I've gone through these steps and eliminating something is doing something.
[1877.5] And I've gone through this and sometimes I'm like, well, there's my answer. It gives you
[1881.8] permission to keep going, it gives you permission to stop if you're just like, I don't
[1887.3] want to do this. It's been dope. Yes. You're in control. Yeah. Now I realize sometimes
[1893.3] that's easier said than done at work. Now if you're an SVP and your CEO has given you
[1897.9] this, these marching orders so to speak, okay? Or your leader is told you to do something
[1901.8] a knife like you got to do it, you can still go through this because what happens is if you
[1907.4] get to the bottom of this and you're like,
[1909.5] it's gonna zap my energy.
[1911.4] You can either delegate this to your team,
[1914.4] create a task force to have it completed.
[1917.4] Your leader just wants it done.
[1919.3] Now unless they said,
[1920.1] you're the only person that can do this.
[1922.8] If you go through this and you're like,
[1924.0] no, I'm really not.
[1925.2] Then you circle back and you go have a conversation
[1927.7] as to what you have discovered
[1931.5] and why this particular thing,
[1933.8] you may not be the best person to lead it,
[1935.8] but you'd love to be a part of it.
[1936.8] There's ways to have conversation.
[1938.7] I mean, it's why I love what I do
[1940.6] is for us helping people communicate effectively,
[1943.7] playing to their strengths,
[1945.5] having that emotional intelligence
[1947.2] so you can intelligently speak about something,
[1950.2] bringing in emotion when it's strategic.
[1953.0] Okay?
[1953.8] Like you're going walking into your leader's office
[1955.7] and crying and if you cry, that's okay too.
[1958.0] You're human.
[1959.2] But this is just how do you use your emotions intelligently
[1962.0] in order to make sure you're in your zenogeneous
[1964.0] to drive more productivity, more energy and engagement,
[1967.8] more success.
[1968.9] And I don't know any leader who wouldn't want somebody
[1971.3] to be in that zone.
[1973.2] So it's applicable and almost every scenario.
[1978.8] Absolutely.
[1979.8] Dub tailing on what you're talking about,
[1981.8] like honing in on your strengths.
[1984.0] So you're in your zone of genius.
[1987.7] I do want to ask with strength finders,
[1991.1] Do you focus on your top five strengths or when you see that you are lacking in a certain
[2001.6] area or category?
[2003.3] Do you try to at least balance that out or do you disregard that altogether?
[2008.7] And for example, I pulled out my strength finders after I saw that you were certified
[2013.5] with this and I dusted it off from 2011.
[2016.9] I found out that my five main strengths are all in executing and strategic thinking.
[2025.2] So I have nothing in influencing.
[2028.2] Do I try to build some skills?
[2032.2] So I have a little bit more balance in influencing or do I just go all in on strategic
[2037.8] thinking and executing?
[2039.8] Yeah.
[2040.8] So first of all, you don't have nothing in real and civil relationship.
[2045.3] Okay.
[2046.3] So in the Clifton Strengths assessment, which
[2049.9] used to be called Strengths Finder, they call it Clifton
[2052.0] Strengths Now, you get 34 talents.
[2054.8] There are 34 talent themes, which some people like,
[2057.6] well, that's a lot.
[2058.2] I just want to do my Enneagram of nine numbers
[2060.4] in my Discord layers.
[2061.6] But I love about Clifton Strengths
[2063.0] is it truly does highlight how unique you are.
[2065.5] You are uniquely you.
[2067.1] And so when you look at your strengths,
[2069.6] it is an order of what gives you the most energy
[2073.8] to the least energy.
[2075.5] So you do all 34 of these talents in the Clifton
[2079.3] strengths world of engagement.
[2082.7] We do all 34 of them.
[2084.4] We do them some way more naturally,
[2087.4] because we're energized by them.
[2089.2] They excite us down to those that drain us
[2092.5] because it takes about 10 times more energy to do.
[2095.9] So everyone is going to have a bottom five, which
[2099.0] are your non-strings.
[2100.8] The goal is to go for mastery in your top five,
[2105.2] even really your top 10 and manage your bottom five.
[2110.6] So this question a lot, and it is a great question
[2113.2] that you asked and that is,
[2114.4] I wish I was more strategic and I'm like,
[2116.0] awesome, okay, tell me the reasons.
[2118.3] Why is it so important that your more strategic?
[2119.8] Again, does it sound good?
[2121.2] Did someone tell you they needed to be strategic?
[2123.2] Or do you actually need to be strategic?
[2124.7] And what does that mean?
[2125.5] What does that really mean to you?
[2127.3] So many of us wanna do things because of how it sounds
[2130.5] or this story will tell you yourselves.
[2132.3] So once you know where, what drains your energy,
[2137.4] it's a communication tool.
[2139.3] So again, kind of back to the example
[2140.6] I just gave a minute ago,
[2141.4] you go to someone you're like,
[2143.0] so I know that you wanna need to present
[2146.0] to the executive team.
[2147.8] I'm actually kind of terrified of speaking communications
[2150.2] in my bottom five.
[2151.1] This is communications my number one.
[2152.6] So this is a hypothetical communications
[2154.7] in my bottom five.
[2155.9] And I mean, are we sure I'm the right person?
[2159.2] Help me understand why me.
[2161.4] So then the executive is because you're the master on this topic.
[2166.2] So then you're like, okay, so using you as an example,
[2170.1] you're like, and I don't know your bottom five.
[2171.9] So again, this is a hyped, an old example.
[2173.7] You're like, okay.
[2174.8] And the thought of standing up and presenting and talking
[2177.1] about this in these executives is scary to me.
[2180.7] However, I'm executing strategic genius.
[2185.1] I'm going to now go into this executive meeting
[2187.7] And I am going to simply focus on what I do and what I know and think about.
[2194.6] So now you're using your strengths, the things that you were energized about doing, the things
[2199.8] you're energized about thinking about, and you're managing the uncomfortable, I've got to
[2207.2] go talk about it.
[2208.7] Yeah, and stand out and be in front of an audience and focusing on that.
[2212.4] You're reframing it to like, okay, what do I actually know?
[2215.8] Yes.
[2216.8] So you want to focus on your top talents
[2218.7] and you want to manage your bottom talents.
[2220.7] And I always encourage people, I'm like, sure,
[2222.4] if you want to move one of these non talents up,
[2224.8] that's great.
[2225.7] This would be crystal clear as to why.
[2227.1] And it's got to be your why.
[2228.8] And then just something else is going to replace it.
[2232.6] We're all going to have a bottom five.
[2234.5] All of these assessments are really outstanding in their own way.
[2237.4] I never have the same conversation twice.
[2239.2] I never have the same workshop twice.
[2240.7] I love doing Clifton-Stanks workshops
[2244.2] and working with the team dynamics and helping teams
[2247.0] and the leader of that team,
[2248.7] have these ahaas of how you have this talent,
[2251.8] you have that talent.
[2252.8] If you all got together, oh my gosh,
[2255.8] I let it so much.
[2257.1] Yes, I think CliftonStrengths is great for everyone
[2261.7] and especially working moms that maybe thinking,
[2264.4] like what do I wanna do next?
[2266.4] Me dusting off my 2011 CliftonStrengths,
[2269.8] I was re-reminded of,
[2271.2] oh, what it actually invigorates me
[2273.5] And what do you know, actually putting together this podcast
[2277.4] has been one of the most invigorating things
[2280.2] that I've done in a really long time
[2282.1] in it aligns with my top five strengths.
[2285.3] Well that's it.
[2286.4] On the flip side, knowing that I've no influencing
[2290.1] or that not no influencing,
[2292.0] but that they literally are like my bottom five.
[2295.1] I am looking for a partner.
[2297.4] And that's where I already know.
[2299.2] Okay, I want a partner that can help balance
[2302.0] what I bring.
[2303.8] Thank you for just that really comprehensive overview
[2307.5] on career frame and the proprietary
[2310.4] different methodologies that you've incorporated.
[2313.7] And I really see how it's applicable to
[2316.6] not only your senior VPs,
[2318.5] but also working moms day-to-day basis as well.
[2322.2] Let's transition to some practical considerations.
[2326.4] So back to Carrie, the entrepreneur that started
[2332.0] career frame. You had 20 years of corporate experience already. You had those leadership skills
[2338.5] already. What did you have to learn when you were launching your business?
[2343.9] So again, the getting over ego was a big one from just the personality perspective.
[2348.8] And then I also had to learn that if I was not willing to make the coffee
[2355.2] per se, it wasn't going to get made. If I was not willing to reach out to people and have the
[2360.0] conversations, it wasn't going to happen. Also, it took me failing. And I say, I failed
[2365.7] awesomely. I would be here this time if I hadn't failed. I would say I learned most the
[2371.5] second time, which was how would we just get basic foundation for business? Get a Zoom account,
[2377.6] get some insurance, like basic business stuff, but also tapping into courage, resilience,
[2384.8] keep going, but check the ego at the door.
[2388.4] Was a big one.
[2389.7] Yeah, yeah.
[2391.1] Talking a little bit about financial considerations
[2394.8] as an entrepreneur, how were you paying yourself
[2399.8] initially versus how you may pay yourself?
[2402.6] Now that you're established 10 years out.
[2406.2] Yeah, at a legal tactical level,
[2409.1] when you establish the business,
[2410.7] you decide what type of business on set of as
[2413.8] the specific type of business where I have to pay myself a salary, which sometimes can be stressful
[2418.8] because I mean the income needs to be there in order to get a salary.
[2423.6] So I pay myself a salary in the very beginning my pricing was quite different because I
[2430.4] looked through the lens of what would I pay someone with my experience?
[2435.0] And so in the very beginning of determining I'm going to be a coach, like a lot of people
[2439.2] to say I'm gonna be a coach, right?
[2441.0] And I had did strength experience.
[2443.0] That was it at the time.
[2444.5] We just had our tenure anniversary
[2445.9] of career frame last week.
[2447.1] And so 10 years ago,
[2448.6] a charging hourly and a small hourly fee.
[2453.1] And then as my experience grew,
[2456.8] as my credentials grew, as the client changed.
[2460.5] Back in the day, I did work with a handful of moms
[2464.3] who needed resume help and LinkedIn profile
[2467.1] and stuff like that.
[2468.0] And I'll do that stuff anymore.
[2469.1] Now it's all full executive coaching engagement,
[2472.5] a lot of facilitation and workshops with teams,
[2475.4] speaking, things like that.
[2477.6] And so now it's engagement based pricing.
[2481.2] And it's not just a, here's a couple of sessions.
[2484.1] It's over, again, over time,
[2485.9] because as adult, you need that consistent,
[2489.2] repetitive learning in order to change and evolve.
[2493.3] I mapped as far as how I paid myself
[2496.0] is kind of what I felt good about
[2497.6] based on my credentials and my experience
[2500.7] and what I would have felt good investing
[2503.8] in with somebody else that had the same type of experience.
[2507.6] Yes.
[2508.4] You talked about setting rates a little bit.
[2510.4] Anything else that we should consider
[2512.9] for anyone else that may be stepping into
[2515.4] either the consulting role or starting their own business
[2520.0] or whether setting an hourly rate.
[2522.7] Yeah.
[2523.5] This is certainly my opinion.
[2524.3] I would caution the hourly rate
[2526.2] because it makes it transactional.
[2528.4] I personally, if I hear cost or vendor,
[2531.1] you're probably not gonna be a good fit for me
[2532.8] and vice versa.
[2533.7] I want to work with people who invest
[2536.7] and they're a partner.
[2538.3] And so anyone that wants to know an hourly rate,
[2542.4] I'm like, I don't work that way
[2543.8] because guess what, it's not just gonna be this session.
[2545.9] You're gonna email me, you're gonna text me,
[2548.1] you're gonna bet signal me, I'm always here.
[2550.7] I'm not just showing up for that
[2552.4] 50 minute session once a month, right?
[2554.9] I want partnership with you.
[2556.1] I want a relationship with you.
[2557.6] So that gets my philosophy.
[2559.9] I have come across a lot of my peers
[2563.7] and I just wanna pull them aside and go,
[2565.6] you are not charging near enough.
[2568.6] A lot of us under price ourselves.
[2572.0] I was told that about me in the beginning as well.
[2575.7] And then there's also the other side,
[2577.4] is that sometimes we're overcharging
[2579.1] and then we wonder why we're not getting business.
[2581.0] But at the same time,
[2582.0] would just encourage you to kind of A, B test it,
[2585.8] toss a number out and aim high.
[2589.7] And sometimes they'll be like, great.
[2591.2] You'd be like, holy crap, I just got that.
[2594.0] Or they'll be like, this was a little rich for me.
[2596.7] Can we talk?
[2597.5] Now you have data.
[2599.0] That's the thing that I would recommend the most.
[2600.3] I have toss pricing out and then someone was like,
[2603.0] great, and the minute I did it, I was like,
[2605.1] oh, that did not feel good.
[2607.3] I do not feel like I am getting the,
[2610.1] there's not an equal value exchange here.
[2612.8] And so you'll know when pricing feels good and when it doesn't.
[2616.9] And I don't know that anyone has the right answer.
[2619.2] Again, trust yourself, listen to yourself,
[2621.6] and you'll know if the pricing you're putting out
[2624.3] is aligned with you.
[2626.4] Yes, yes, thank you for that.
[2629.0] As we wrap up, I wanna ask,
[2631.7] what do you think besides checking your ego,
[2636.6] listening to yourself, you've talked a lot about that?
[2638.9] Are there any other additional strengths that you have inherently brought to the success
[2644.2] of career frame?
[2646.2] And I'm putting words in your mouth of you seeing so joyful in what you're doing as well,
[2651.9] too.
[2652.9] So any other insight as to you, Kerry, what did you bring to the table that's helped you
[2657.9] get to what you have wanted to achieve?
[2661.0] Yeah.
[2662.0] My desire for authentic connection with people has really guided me.
[2668.7] And through that, really finding such a joy and helping other people make impacts themselves.
[2677.4] So we like, Harry, thank you so much.
[2680.4] No, I didn't.
[2681.4] I didn't do this.
[2682.4] I've been the one asking you questions, pulling all of the stuff out of you, but you did
[2686.5] this.
[2687.5] You made this change.
[2689.4] And that is a huge joy to me.
[2691.6] So I would just say, just I am a woo and the strengths world, which is winning others over
[2696.7] and the social butterfly and the extrovert.
[2699.2] And I am a natural communicator and storyteller.
[2703.0] And I create dialogue.
[2704.6] And I'm just curious about humans,
[2707.3] curious about people.
[2708.8] Yeah.
[2709.6] And that authenticity and leading with authenticity
[2712.5] is what changed the trajectory of your business.
[2716.5] So it's great that you were able to be in tune
[2719.5] and listen to yourself and trust yourself.
[2722.5] So thank you for sharing that.
[2724.9] And how we see ourselves is sometimes different
[2728.9] than how others see us.
[2730.2] And to your earlier point of women,
[2732.3] especially undersell our strengths,
[2734.8] I want to share with you what your friend Amy Castellanos
[2738.4] had to say were your strengths.
[2741.7] So from Amy, I've been friends with Kerry for four years.
[2747.2] And the only way I can describe her is thoughtfully loving,
[2751.7] impressively intelligent and abundantly generous with everything she has.
[2757.5] With her time, her connections, her resources, her art.
[2763.2] Her abundance shows up in the most beautiful, unexpected ways.
[2768.5] Some of the most epic international adventures of my life have happened because of her.
[2774.4] And one of my favorite pieces of clothing I own, the one that gets me the most compliments
[2781.6] every single time I wear it is something Carrie spotted at an event, bought on the spot and
[2788.3] handed to me because she said it was so me she physically could not walk away without getting it.
[2795.7] And that is Carrie. She sees you and then she acts on it.
[2802.4] When Amy was wrestling with one of the hardest career decisions in her life, she said that you
[2807.5] didn't push you didn't rush you didn't project and for two full years you held
[2811.9] space as her friend her confidant and her coach holding space until she was ready
[2817.8] to find her own answers on her own timing and that kind of patience is rare
[2824.2] lastly an underneath all of this is a woman of extraordinary self-awareness and
[2831.2] curiosity who has done the real inner work. Meditation retreats, expanding
[2838.1] consciousness, examining her own thought patterns and beliefs, not as a trend,
[2843.9] but as a genuine commitment to growth. When you do all that kind of inner work,
[2849.1] you don't just rise, you bring everyone around you with you. Carrie's abundance
[2855.6] is it just what she gives, it's who she is, and the people lucky enough to be in her orbit
[2862.4] know exactly what I mean. I'm so lucky she's my friend.
[2867.6] Oh man.
[2869.6] Yeah. Yeah. That's that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. Now I'm going to
[2876.1] let Amy go, hi, can I get that printed and hang out on my wall?
[2879.6] Yes. What comes up for you when you hear that? No, man. Some tears come up. That's for sure.
[2884.6] I often ask people when I do these workshops,
[2888.0] what's a word that people would use to describe you.
[2889.9] And it's always interesting what people say.
[2891.7] And some of the things that you shared with Amy,
[2894.6] I feel and I'm honored that she sees that
[2896.7] and she experiences that.
[2898.8] And then there's also some things that I'm like,
[2901.8] she experiences that and she sees that.
[2904.4] You know what I mean?
[2905.2] Do I do that?
[2906.1] I'm so glad I do that.
[2907.4] As she said, I do pride myself on being very self-aware.
[2911.0] I am to be self-aware.
[2912.8] And I love it that she sees that.
[2915.1] What an amazing reflection from her on how I show up.
[2920.6] And so I appreciate that.
[2922.6] I appreciate that you reached out to her and asked that.
[2924.4] Yes.
[2924.8] And what I love is I see what you're teaching in career frame
[2929.8] is actually how you're showing up in your personal life as well.
[2933.7] And it's great to see that you're encompassing everything
[2938.3] that you are also teaching.
[2940.2] And like I said, like I will teach coach, share, discuss something that I have not gone through.
[2948.0] Relatability is really important to me.
[2950.7] I want with all my heart for clients or partners,
[2955.5] they're client partners to me that we have relatability,
[2958.4] that we're having fun doing this work because it is work.
[2963.3] Work doesn't have to be painful and hard all the time.
[2967.1] Some of it is because I have learned that I have yet to find
[2970.1] person that can tell me otherwise and if you're out there please reach out to me. I've
[2973.8] yet to see any path to joy that doesn't go through pain. And so we are doing work on ourselves.
[2981.7] We're doing work with our teams. We're having this human experience and we spend most of our
[2989.4] time at work. I want people to have fun with that. I want people to really enjoy their team.
[2996.2] Yes, I love that philosophy and we need more
[3000.4] Executive career coach leaders like you that understand that did that you can show up as your true authentic self and how do you maximize that?
[3008.8] And still have a high productive team
[3011.5] Are right so because we are not all just career women
[3016.3] We're gonna transition to our rapid round some really quick questions about real life. You ready?
[3021.9] ready
[3022.8] for family and kids
[3024.8] Do you have any family core values?
[3029.8] We do, actually.
[3030.8] And this was a project that we did in 2020.
[3033.8] My husband and I, Montalent, should we decided what our
[3036.8] values were.
[3037.8] I painted them on a giant canvas that hangs in our open
[3041.8] kitchen area here at home.
[3043.8] And there are values like, be honest, do your best, celebrate each other,
[3048.8] make smart choices, they curious.
[3051.8] We want our children to be good humans.
[3055.4] We want them to make smart decisions
[3057.8] and we're not projecting our belief system onto them.
[3061.5] It's form your own belief system that is healthy and serves you.
[3067.8] And yeah, we do have those values.
[3070.1] And when we painted it,
[3071.0] everybody got their painted their hand print,
[3073.1] put their hand print on it, signed it.
[3075.2] And yeah, that was a fun project.
[3077.4] I love that.
[3078.7] We have our family core values,
[3080.8] but it's on like Marriott stationary from the hotel
[3084.3] that we have on our family bulletin board.
[3087.0] So I love the ham print to have some accountability in it.
[3092.2] So I love that.
[3093.3] Do you have any tech roles in your house?
[3095.9] Yes.
[3096.8] So I have an almost 15 year old and a 13 year old boy
[3099.8] and then girl.
[3100.7] And they use technology very differently.
[3103.1] And my daughter's the one that her iPad is constantly on her.
[3107.0] We have, I would say, I feel like it's ballots.
[3110.5] We allow them to be on their iPads to watch YouTube,
[3114.8] to all the things.
[3116.0] However, it's rarely in their bedrooms.
[3119.0] It's usually in the living room or in the kitchen.
[3121.5] So I'm kind of listening.
[3123.0] We also have a bark app on their iPads.
[3125.3] So it sends us a alert.
[3126.6] There's any sexual content, alcohol, drug abuse, violence.
[3131.4] And so we get the bark alert.
[3132.7] And then I can go tap on that and see what video they're
[3135.3] watching and talk to them about it.
[3138.1] And so those are the guardrails I've had around it.
[3140.6] So my daughter, she is going to be going into eighth grade.
[3144.8] She is probably the only eighth grader who does not have a phone.
[3148.9] We gave her an Apple Watch.
[3151.7] So when she was out and about she could call us and be connected to us.
[3155.2] So that's kind of how we handle it in our house.
[3157.6] Transition to some inspiration.
[3159.8] Do you have a favorite book or favorite movie?
[3163.0] I do.
[3163.8] I do.
[3164.2] So I am almost 52 years old and I am the biggest Harry Potter fan.
[3171.2] As you read in my book, with a quote from Dumbledore,
[3175.2] I love Harry so much because I relate to him.
[3180.2] I lost my mom and I was very young.
[3182.2] Life has absolutely been a hero's journey.
[3185.2] I love how much he fiercely loves his friends.
[3188.2] His friends are his family.
[3190.2] That's a very much how I feel.
[3192.2] I love magic. I love creating magic. I don't love dark magic, which is like a query, not Voldemort, but I just love.
[3200.6] I love that story so much. I love the heroes journey that is Harry Potter. There's so many lessons
[3207.1] about humanity and navigating your heart in that series, I would say. I went to the Wizarding World outside London.
[3216.2] and I've been there twice.
[3217.3] And the first time I went, it was in 2016.
[3221.2] And I had just the best day on earth by myself
[3225.3] for something your old mom, by herself,
[3227.7] we're in a cloak, it was awesome.
[3229.4] I looked up visual, yes.
[3231.6] And also just the child like piece of it.
[3235.6] There is fun in remembering our inner child.
[3239.9] And I was allowing an inner child
[3242.0] to come up and be like,
[3242.8] we're gonna have some frickin' fun right now.
[3244.4] taking everything seriously.
[3246.4] Yes.
[3247.1] To be able to play, to be able to dream, to be able to get in tune with that inner child.
[3252.2] Final question.
[3253.0] Do you have any non-negotiables for your wellbeing?
[3256.3] I have several non-negotiables for my wellbeing.
[3259.1] And there's a reason why the word unapologetic is in the subtitle of my book,
[3264.3] because I'm not going to apologize for the time zone I put myself first
[3268.7] from a place of physical mental emotional health.
[3272.3] Non-negotiable is my sleep.
[3274.3] I turn into a pumpkin at 10 o'clock every night.
[3276.9] No, you're not gonna be tucked in if it's 10, 10.
[3278.9] I love you. You'll be typing me one.
[3280.7] I'm non-negotiable for me to work out four times a week.
[3284.1] Minimum. Non-negotiable for me to have my therapist.
[3288.5] So I have a coach. Everybody needs a coach.
[3291.3] The coaches need coaches.
[3292.7] So I have my coach and I have my therapist.
[3295.3] And it's just my space to verbally vomit and talk about everything
[3300.5] I've seen it's on my mind and on my heart.
[3302.3] That my husband isn't fabulous and amazing as he is.
[3305.3] I don't want to jump it on friends,
[3307.7] but just a space to just be me, authentically raw me.
[3312.5] I love, I don't think they'll live biohacking.
[3314.5] I love the infrared sauna.
[3315.7] I love the cold plunge.
[3317.1] Again, gross.
[3318.1] I've got non-negotiables.
[3319.0] I'm always gonna grow in my mind and my heart.
[3321.9] So I have quite a few, actually, but I'll stop there.
[3325.0] What I'm taking away is it's okay to prioritize yourself
[3329.4] and take what you need for yourself.
[3331.8] Now, Dris, it's okay.
[3333.2] I think sometimes moms are scared to put a boundary.
[3337.1] They feel like they're failing as a mom
[3338.8] if they don't put a boundary.
[3339.6] It's like, oh my dear, it's the opposite.
[3341.7] You're only if you're not putting a boundary.
[3344.8] And again, failing is just learning.
[3346.7] Okay, I was gonna remind people of that.
[3349.0] And it is putting your mask on first.
[3352.4] Yes, I love it in such a great way
[3354.8] to end this conversation.
[3356.6] Carrie, it has been such a pleasure having you on.
[3360.1] I really enjoyed getting to know you.
[3363.5] And I love how you shut up in this conversation.
[3367.4] I can see how that translates into career frame.
[3370.6] So thank you for just your transparency
[3373.7] and helping us better understand you
[3375.8] and your leadership style and just life philosophy
[3378.7] isn't another way to say it.
[3379.7] Tell me.
[3380.6] Oh, for having me.
[3381.7] Yes, if listeners want to keep going with you,
[3385.4] whether if they want to work with you and or read more
[3389.3] about your book, can you share your book one more time
[3392.9] with everyone?
[3393.9] Yes, all in a working mom's unapologetic quest for HUC life.
[3398.9] And in the Amazon also to connect with us, careerframe.com.
[3403.9] There is a link to the book on careerframe.com as well.
[3407.7] We have contact form if you want to connect
[3410.8] to see how we could work together with you or your team.
[3414.4] Please reach out that comes directly to me
[3416.7] and then I will reach back out to you
[3418.4] and find all the great stuff that we do
[3419.9] with organizations.
[3421.2] Follow me on Instagram.
[3422.7] I tend to disappoint people more towards authentically me
[3425.2] which is CDFamories on Instagram.
[3427.8] We have career frame on Instagram.
[3429.8] I'm not as active on that one.
[3431.1] I'm just like, why don't you just see what I'm doing?
[3433.0] Personal, professional, here it is.
[3434.7] So yeah, so CDF will be on Instagram
[3436.6] and then LinkedIn.
[3438.2] And if you connect with me,
[3439.2] you can follow career frame on LinkedIn.
[3441.6] But if you wanna connect with me,
[3443.2] Please let me know that you heard me on this podcast.
[3445.5] And then I'm like, oh, okay, let's connect with this person.
[3447.8] Yeah, any of those avenues?
[3450.0] Great, sounds good.
[3450.8] And we'll make sure that we link all of that in our show notes.
[3453.4] And then lastly, Carrie is offering a complimentary
[3456.7] leadership quiz called Discover Your Frame It Method Leadership Style.
[3461.3] We will also link this quiz in our show notes.
[3464.7] So thank you again, Carrie, for joining us.
[3467.6] And lastly, to our listeners,
[3469.8] If this episode resonated with you,
[3472.7] subscribe on your preferred streaming platform.
[3475.5] So you never miss a conversation
[3477.4] and share this with one woman who needs to hear it.
[3480.4] Every subscribe and every share helps the algorithm
[3483.3] get the show in front of more women
[3485.2] asking the same questions that we are.
[3488.4] And remember to explore on your own terms
[3491.5] because nothing changes, if nothing changes.
[3494.7] And to our loyal listeners, these are my after show reflections.
[3502.3] What I keep thinking about in this conversation with Carrie is the off-the-cuff comment
[3507.0] she made about being busy and people who supposedly say that they thrive in being busy.
[3515.4] She respectfully challenged if that's actually true or if busyness is sometimes just a way
[3522.6] to avoid those feelings with what's going on underneath. I completely agree with her.
[3530.4] What I'm sitting with is I do feel busy too busy and I know I don't want to be,
[3538.8] especially as I'm trying to make a big decision about what do I ultimately want to do next.
[3545.2] I know that I need time and space to reflect and to really assess what I want, but it isn't as simple as just clear your calendar, right?
[3558.2] Because Carrie also just talked about naming and identifying her fear.
[3565.2] And when I do that, my fear actually competes with the idea of taking on less.
[3573.2] My biggest fear is that I'm going to run out of time and by time I really mean
[3580.8] the financial runway to do this exploration. I worry that I'll get to the
[3586.6] end of all of this and still not have clarity on what I want to do next and
[3592.1] that's why I've been working fast and fiercely a lot of nights and weekends
[3598.0] because I know that clock is ticking.
[3600.5] And yet, there's that other thing,
[3604.0] Carrie reminded us of that life,
[3607.8] the universe, source, whatever language you use,
[3612.2] keeps putting things in front of you.
[3615.1] You just have to be pain enough attention to notice.
[3619.2] So that's exactly how the artist way
[3622.4] by Julia Cameron landed in my path.
[3625.9] and why saying yes to a 12 week journey with this book
[3630.5] feels like the next right step for me.
[3633.6] The tools in the artist way like the morning pages
[3636.4] and the artist dates are designed to help clear
[3639.1] mental clutter and reconnect you with your creative self
[3642.4] so you can hear your own voice again.
[3646.0] Personally, I'm really ready and I know
[3648.7] I need the morning pages.
[3651.5] Three pages, long hand, first thing in the morning
[3655.1] every day. It's stream of consciousness brain dump, not good writing. And the whole point
[3662.5] is to clear out the noise so you can see what you really think and feel. This is the tool
[3668.2] I'm going to use for my private reflection. And to make sure I actually do it, I'm going
[3675.3] to borrow Colleen's advice from last week's episode and write first thing when I wake up,
[3682.1] before my coffee, before I look at my phone.
[3685.6] I'm also asking myself if I don't want to be so busy,
[3690.8] what can I pause, loosen or let go of to create more space for this work.
[3697.4] So here's what I'm going to try.
[3701.1] First, I'm going to be less rigid with my workouts.
[3705.1] This is never something I feel like I have to do.
[3708.1] I've been doing it for so long that it's now just to have it.
[3711.7] to do something every day.
[3715.2] Outside of showing up six days a week,
[3717.2] I'm gonna shift to four or five days
[3720.9] and use the other days for those solo walks
[3725.0] or artist dates.
[3727.6] Second, with her intentional reset,
[3730.8] this podcast has given me so much joy.
[3736.6] I have big visions with this podcast,
[3740.3] but I'm realizing I can't do everything alone.
[3743.2] As I mentioned in the episode,
[3745.6] I am actively looking for a partner.
[3747.7] So I'll put this out there.
[3749.8] And what I've also done is brought in help with socials.
[3754.5] Shout out to Leah Tilsstra from episode nine.
[3758.8] She knew that I wanted help.
[3761.3] So she introduced me to her daughter Nora.
[3764.8] Nora is in high school and has been just rocking,
[3768.9] helping me with posting socials.
[3771.6] And I'm really excited for us to expand her duties.
[3776.0] So those are just a couple of steps
[3778.2] I'm taking immediately to try to be in air quotes
[3784.5] here less busy.
[3786.7] So I can be a little bit more intentional
[3790.5] with what do I really want to be doing?
[3795.5] So if any of this resonated with you,
[3797.9] busyness the fear the quiet wondering of what if I never fear this out. And if
[3804.0] you're curious about what we're actually doing with the artist way and our 12
[3808.8] week creative cluster journey that I mentioned, launching that on June 15th,
[3814.4] please listen to episode 12 for more details or check out the details on
[3821.0] on socials and these show notes.
[3825.4] You can find us on Instagram or Facebook
[3827.6] at her intentional reset.co.
[3830.2] That's her intentional reset.co.
[3835.1] I'll see you there and I'll see you next episode.
[3839.3] Bye now.